Purity and Peace
Embracing a Christ-Centered Relationship Journey
In a world full of self-seeking relationships and a high me-centered culture, purity is not often central to conversations about relationships. It’s usually about what one can get from the other person and whether it feels right for them. For me, however, purity has brought a lot of peace. I’ve had opportunities to break my commitment to purity and jump into something to see how it felt, but I chose to stay focused on Jesus. At 30, I’ve never kissed, barely held hands with someone, and honestly, I’m so grateful. The idea that my first kiss and any physical intimacy could be solely with my husband is such a beautiful gift.
Looking forward, I am struck by the reality that my life is not my own; it belongs to Christ. This realization brings a huge responsibility, but it’s by His grace and through the Holy Spirit that I can embrace this calling. I’m hopeful to meet a man with whom I can lay down my life for the sake of the Gospel. Someone who will love me like Christ loved the church. If someone isn’t meant for me, then they are for someone else or called to be single like Paul. I don’t believe in test-driving relationships or practicing intimacy outside of marriage.
Most of our lives are spent on mundane tasks: doing dishes, cleaning, grocery shopping, and more. We need someone who will champion us through these tasks and whom we can champion in return. Our focus should be on prayer, serving the Lord, and seeking the Kingdom of Heaven, providing a safe place for those in our care to grow and meet Christ.
In this season of preparation, with no man yet in the picture but my bridegroom, King Jesus, I am dwelling on what is eternal. I desire the blessings of a Christ-centered marriage and family, but my ultimate goal is to glorify God through my relationships. I’m not seeking marriage to serve myself, but to work alongside someone for the Kingdom. Love always requires sacrifice.
Reflecting on my journey, I see that purity and peace go hand in hand. When I decided not to date in high school, it wasn’t because I didn’t have opportunities; I was focused on Jesus. My time on the mission field solidified my understanding of Christ’s love, and now, years later, I continue to trust in His plan. Though I’ve liked people over the years, none were meant for me, and that’s okay. Loving people while walking in purity allows me to be sad but not crushed, stable in Christ’s perfect will.
Loving deeply, even when it hurts, is worth the journey. As C.S. Lewis said, “If you love deeply, you’re going to get hurt badly. But it’s still worth it.” The Bible echoes this sentiment, teaching us to love one another without expecting anything in return.
Marriage is a beautiful gift but can become an idol if we’re not careful. Singleness is also a gift, a time to grow closer to God. Why waste time getting romantic with someone who isn’t my husband? I want to love my future husband from the start of dating, building on the foundation that he is my brother in Christ.
In closing
In Romans 8:28, we are reminded that “God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose.” Our purpose is to lay down our lives for others, seek first the Kingdom of Heaven, and love not our own lives but His presence.
As you consider your own journey, reflect on where God is calling you to walk in holy purity. Create space for your future partner, maintain integrity from the dating phase, and ensure your relationship is rooted in God’s principles.
Questions for Reflection:
- What area of your life is God calling you to walk in purity?
- How can you keep space for the future person in your life?
- Are you seeking a relationship for self-fulfillment or to glorify God together?
I hope my journey inspires you to seek purity and peace in your own relationships, trusting that God’s plan is always for your ultimate good.
