Trusting Jesus

The journey of being a bride to the bridegroom Christ

I am sure people may wonder… what does this single 30 year old have to say about husbands and wives. To be honest I thought the same 🙂 BUT God. 🙂

“The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.” ESV

“Her husband has entrusted his heart to her, for she brings him the rich spoils of victory.” ‭TPT‬‬

Proverbs 31:11

We are called to be the bride of Christ, to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness (Math 6:33). What does it mean to have Christ entrust me with His heart, and trust that I would bring Him great spoils of victory. As I look at this life, I get to arise early and spend time with Him, the one that is my all and all. I get to sit at His feet and rest my head on His chest to know His heartbeat. I think about John and how He was able to taste and see the goodness and Glory of the lord.

Through these past 10 years I have learnt much about laying down my life for people, and the Lord. I hesitate even saying this because it feels too much about me… but I guess sometimes as we share our testimony we get to show and demonstrate the faithful love of God. “Laying your life down in tender surrender before the Lord will bring life, prosperity, and honor as your reward.” Proverbs‬ ‭22‬:‭4‬ ‭TPT‬‬. What does it look like to walk in tender surrender? To sit at the feet of my beloved like Mary, to serve out of overflow in order to wash His feet with expensive oil and dry them with her hair (John 12).

I think of the verses in Ephesians about husbands and wives. Wives are like mirrors of the church, don’t get me wrong we are all equally and wonderfully created but there’s a beauty in surrender. There is a humility in being the one who follows more than they lead in a relationship. Who listens more than they speak. We are looking at this within the covenant of marriage in the covenant of laying your life down for the Lord. What a beautiful picture Paul gives us of the church and Christ.

“For wives, this means being devoted to your husbands like you are tenderly devoted to our Lord, for the husband provides leadership for the wife, just as Christ provides leadership for his church, as the Savior and Reviver of the body. In the same way the church is devoted to Christ, let the wives be devoted to their husbands in everything. And to the husbands, you are to demonstrate love for your wives with the same tender devotion that Christ demonstrated to us, his bride. For he died for us, sacrificing himself to make us holy and pure, cleansing us through the showering of the pure water of the Word of God. All that he does in us is designed to make us a mature church for his pleasure, until we become a source of praise to him—glorious and radiant, beautiful and holy, without fault or flaw. Husbands have the obligation of loving and caring for their wives the same way they love and care for their own bodies, for to love your wife is to love your own self. No one abuses his own body, but pampers it—serving and satisfying its needs. That’s exactly what Christ does for his church! He serves and satisfies us as members of his body. For this reason a man is to leave his father and his mother and lovingly hold to his wife, since the two have become joined as one flesh. Marriage is the beautiful design of the Almighty, a great and sacred mystery—meant to be a vivid example of Christ and his church. So every married man should be gracious to his wife just as he is gracious to himself. And every wife should be tenderly devoted to her husband.”‭‭

Ephesians‬ ‭5‬:‭22‬ -33‬ ‭TPT‬‬

What a picture!

How are we to respond to such a love. Paul shows us here that Christ is tenderly devoted to the church, the bride of Christ. We are a bride to the bride groom, Christ.

How are you? Tenderly devoted to the Lord. How are you? Tenderly devoted, to loving Him, to honor, respect, and lay down your life for our beloved Savior. What greater love is this then laying down one’s life for his friend, is Christ not more than a friend (John15:13). He is life itself. What does it look like to say yes to the Lord? What does obedience look like, and surrender? That your yes would be yes and your no, no. I don’t want my plans I want His plans.

“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”

John‬ ‭15‬:‭13‬ ‭ESV‬‬

I spent three years in Nicaragua serving some ministries there. One season in particular is so dear to my heart as Jesus asked me to stay in Nicaragua while a friend of mine, left to go to school for nine months. I didn’t understand necessarily what I would be surrendering during that time and what obedience to Him would look like. This season taught me so much about being discipled, laying down my own agenda, listening to the leadership above me, and submitting to the Lord. I then heard a word from Him to go to serve my family in New Zealand. So I got on a plane and I did just that. Getting to spend four months with my Grandad before he passed away and then continuing my time they’re serving an amazing woman who loves the lord. I had the privilege of watching her tender devotion to the Lord day in and day out, surrendering her time and agenda to His will. This season drastically changed my perspective in a beautiful way. I was so impressed by her consistency and stability. As I reenter the United States I found myself struggling with my identity, struggling with who I had become, and the lack of purpose.

I found myself needing to sit again at the feet of Jesus in a vulnerable way and remember my first love. I had to remember when He met me at 14, 15, and 16 years old. How He shaped my trust in Him during those years. Getting to sit at His feet and tenderly devote myself to His precious presence. I have been in this season for almost 4 years. The first couple months were a challenge because I wanted the purpose of “being a missionary.” I wanted to be able to say I was a Missionary or an artist, anything really. He wanted me to get to a place where He and only He was enough. How stunning it is to let him write the story of my life. To let Him be the purpose of every part of my life from the smallest moments to the larger dreams. Making my life purpose sitting at His feet.

I still have big dreams and aspirations. I still hope to get married, and have children. To get to experience laying down my life for my husband and being tenderly devoted to him just as I am tenderly devoted to the Lord. I want to see my children raised up, knowing who they are in Christ. I want my ceiling to be their floor, to see them walk into beautiful exploits with the Lord, and to get to know His person in an even deeper way than I have been able to. I want to see so many people meet Jesus to see them walk in His goodness and know His person. What a privilege it would be to help people engage in the beautiful life that is walking in the light as He is in the light. Getting to see the kingdom invade earth and be transformed by the goodness of Christ.

“Eden is teaching us that the pleasure of life is found in fellowship with His person. Enjoyment of God is the only platform upon which the exercising of His dominion and the pursuit of God is pure. Yes, enjoyment is the purest form of seeking God. And adoration is the highest form of enjoyment.”

Eric Gilmour, How to Prosper in Everything

I don’t know much about what it means to be a wife in this world… But I do know what it means to tenderly be devoted to the Lord. To lay down my time to choose first, His face and His kingdom. He’s so worthy of all your obedience and love. I wouldn’t trade these years for anything, because I’ve gotten to fasten myself to Him in ways that I can’t even explain. I’ve gotten to cook in the kitchen with Him, and for Him. I went on dates with Him to explore deep passages in scripture, and to love on his kids. What a joy it is to say that I am close to God, and that He is close to me. I got to know his son, I’ve been comforted by the Holy Spirit. There’s so much more to do, there’s so much more transformation to be had. But, to get to behold His face every day, is such a deep treasure for my heart.

“At each and every sunrise you will hear my voice as I prepare my sacrifice of prayer to you. Every morning I lay out the pieces of my life on the altar and wait for your fire to fall upon my heart.”

Psalms‬ ‭5‬:‭3‬ ‭TPT‬‬

I pray if anything comes from this post that you will want to spend more time with Him. That you would want to engage with His word and learn about His person. The Bible is a love letter from God, who created everything. Jesus who came as a man for you, so that you could know Him. The Bible is a beautiful testimony of the righteousness and goodness of the Lord. It speaks of His person. It speaks of His character and love.

Here is a link to Ephesians in the passion translation hard copy on Amazon 🙂